When I started this challenge I was scared. Not of the challenge itself—I thought that would be quite easy. But how would I ever find something interesting to write about?
You see, I abhor cash. So a so-called “challenge” that stipulates against using cash seemed—well, like stealing candy from a baby. While some might find this difficult, long ago I made my life cashless.* Why would I limit myself to the plastic side of money? For several reasons:
1) I am miserly (a cheapskate, some would say). So I would just as soon not spend any money at all. Seriously. I hate spending money.
2) I don’t earn money back when I use cash, but I do earn money for spending on my credit card. Getting 3% cash back when I spend $60 on gas makes those high gas prices sting a little less. (see reason #1)
3) I am That Friend that never has cash and is always willing to put your bill on my card in exchange for your cash. As That Friend I can deposit your cash into my bank account, and get rewards from my credit card on money that I didn’t even spend. Being That Friend is annoying for my friends, but my winning personality makes up for it. I think.
4) Cash is gross. I read about people in a cult in southern Nevada that think it’s holy to cover their coughs and sneezes with dollar bills. Actually, I didn’t read that and it isn’t true. But it easily could be.
What is true is that when I have to touch those dirty Lincolns and Washingtons that thousands (millions?!) of people have sneezed, coughed, or just put their grubby little paws on, I feel compelled to wash my hands. Immediately.
5) Finally, I don’t really need cash for anything. I don’t frequent strip clubs (anymore!). I am not evading taxes or engaging in illegal transactions (no drugs AND no babysitting money, unfortunately). I prefer to give food items to homeless people rather than money—“Come back, sir! I still have more leftover sushi for you!” I would also prefer to take an hour and a half subway ride than pay for a taxi because I AM THAT CHEAP.
So this week was going to be a piece of cake….or so I thought.
Just this afternoon, I failed. Miserably. I didn’t even realize what I had done until I was washing the dirty cash feeling off of my hands, and I thought, “You weren’t supposed to have that gross feeling this week, Rachael.”
Although I have no cash in my wallet, I do have a little stash of quarters in the bottom of my dresser, and I paid $7.50 in quarters to use the coin-operated laundry machines in my basement.
If not for drug lords, parents, perverts, and Boston landlords, the world would be a clean, cashless paradise.
*nearly, that is