I’m going to violate the rules today. I’ve got an illegal gambling debt that I need to pay off and I can’t use a card for it.
You see, when I filled out my March Madness brackets this year for the Fletcher pool, I did as I always do: let my partisan fandom influence my pick to win it all. As it turns out, this wasn’t a good year to pick Duke (I probably could have told you that a month ago if I had been thinking rationally, but being a fan means being irrational).
Sure, I could have picked Kentucky like everyone else did. You all may have been right but that doesn’t change the fact that you are uncreative. And really, who wanted Kentucky to win? Certainly not people who have a car parked on the street in Lexington…
Regardless, I didn’t win and now it’s time to pay the piper. Technically, it was time to pay the piper a month ago when I entered the pool, but I’m a little behind.
Most people don’t realize this but gambling on the NCAA tournament is in fact illegal (FULL DISCLOSURE: I’m not a lawyer and I didn’t really research this, but I’m pretty sure I’m right). Most jurisdictions ban this kind of betting, which includes my Fantasy Football and Fantasy Baseball. In other words, some of the things that bring me the most joy in life are completely impossible without A) laws that actually make sense and aren’t written to benefit casinos and state lotteries and B) cold hard cash.
So to my “bookie:” your money is on the way. I’m only breaking the rules so that you don’t break my legs.