In her piece, “A Tale of Three Coming Out Stories,” Roxanne Gay begins by examining the privacy rights, or lack thereof, of those who have risen to success, fame, or power. Arguing that privacy should be a right afforded to anyone —regardless of race, class, or sexual orientation— Gay proceeds to protest the general society’s “need” to become privy to the private matters in these public figures’ lives. She maintains that those in the spotlight are “flesh and blood” (162), too, and just because they choose to be in the spotlight does not mean that they have “shed their inalienable rights” (162) and expectations of privacy.

Gay also asserts that because of their social status, these public figures are expected by society to assume responsibility for larger societal issues, namely, the stigma surrounding homosexuality. Using the examples of Matt Bomer, Anderson Cooper, Neil Patrick Harris, and other celebrities that fit the “acceptable” level of homosexuality and contrasting these individuals with the artist Frank Ocean, Gay emphasizes that “coming out” is not equally difficult for everyone and that some have more to lose than others. In this case, just because Frank Ocean is well-known and well-liked by many, he was still taking a big risk due to his part of the “notoriously homophobic R&B and hip-hop community” (167).

I agree with Gay in that those in the spotlight should not feel the social pressure to come out in order to alleviate the stigma surrounding homosexuality. Arguing that in order for progress to be made, we all have to take a stand, no matter how small, and those in the spotlight should not have to “forge these inroads on our behalf… [and] carry the hopes of so many on their shoulders” (168).