Mecca Jamilah Sullivan’s fiction short story, “Blue Talk and Love,” explores the life of Earnestine Sanchez and her struggles with her identity. Initially, the piece focuses on Earnestine’s inability to fit in at both her school and at her ARYSE program. Throughout the short story, the narrator vocalizes Earnestine’s insecurities about her race, class, and sexuality.
Earnestine feels uncomfortable at school because she doesn’t fit the standards of white beauty. Additionally, because Earnestine doesn’t feel attracted to men, she struggles with society’s perception of how a girl her age should act. Xiomara’s stories about boys don’t interest Earnestine because Earnestine “liked boys like she liked anybody else” (26). Because of this, Earnestine’s feelings toward Xiomara are conflicted, thus leading to the love-hate relationship she has with Xiomara. Earnestine often finds herself feeling jealous of Xiomara because although Xiomara also isn’t white, “by all indications, Xiomara did alright for herself” in society (26).
Earnestine’s sexuality is never explicitly discussed in the story; rather, her true feelings toward Xiomara are hidden throughout the piece. I like how Sullivan chose not to make Earnestine’s sexuality the focus of the story, as it demonstrates that one’s sexuality is not necessarily their defining feature. Furthermore, sexuality is not something one can label or categorize, as in the beginning, many often don’t immediately label themselves as lesbian or gay, if they classify themselves at all. Sexuality is not something that one can organize into neat boxes; rather, it is a spectrum. Additionally, just like in the story, sexuality is something that, by some, is not even considered until later in life, as it is often precedented by other issues in out lives such as our insecurities or our conflicting views on what is accepted by society.