Before reading this, I would like to say that this information is confidential and is not going to be shared outside the context of this class. The people responsible for these events have all graduated or left Tufts. I am not and never was a member of Delta Tau Delta.
This week’s lectures really hit home for me. It was the healing wound in my own psychological sense of self. My heart fluttered when I opened lecture 3, week 3, “The Self: Part III.” I scrolled down the topic list after I saw the word cognitive dissonance to find myself staring at the dreaded word, hazing. The word is a port key to my past that I think of about rarely. While it was a dark time, I remember these events by the power and self-confidence it gave me.
My freshman year, 2014-2015, I decided to rush ∆T∆. Much like the rest of the group of boys, I felt as if the group of friends I had made in the first semester all had found their outlet on campus. I was still searching for mine. I was weary of Greek Life at Tufts. I had heard stories from orientation leaders and from friends and family. After ignorantly questioning some of the brothers about the pledging process (the answers I got were all lies of course), I accepted my bid. Just as the blog post stated, things started out small during the initial week of the pledge process: cleaning, laundry, running peoples food to them in class.
Things were tame.
Concurrently, I was enrolled in PSY 1, as it was a very undecided freshman thing to do. On a Tuesday night, maybe the fourth or fifth week of the spring semester, the pledge class got called to the house (back when they were still allowed on campus). The pledge class, all 21 kids, gathered in the basement. We lined up by height as the pledge master barked.
We were then forced to drink 4, 1.75L bottles of cheap spirits between 21 people. If my math is correct that’s about 7 drinks per person in a sub-five-minute time period. After the beginning act, more alcohol ensured with push-ups, insults, and verbal abuse. Lastly, we were given a table with a large nondescript shape on top, covered by a black tarp.
The pledge master ripped off the tarp and exposed a mountain of food items, but the food was all expired or stale. We were then commanded to eat all the food on the table “or suffer consequences”. And so we did. We were broken. For about 20 minutes we all looked at each other and realized that Hazing is very much alive at Tufts and about to rear its ugly head for us for the duration of the semester. This was week 2 of pledging, and we had 11 more to go. We all knew it wouldn’t get easier. After we completed the gruesome task, we hung our heads low and we trudged out of the basement. One of my friends in the house, a sophomore, pulled me a side.
He said, “Don’t worry man, it doesn’t get much worse than that.”
He lied to me, he knew it, I knew it.
I made my way back to my dorm room in the middle of the night, I glanced at my phone screen before finding solace in sleep. My girlfriend had texted me knowing something was happening. I couldn’t break the news to her, not then, I was not ready. I was worried she would be ashamed of me, I was worried everyone I knew, my family, people who loved me, would be disappointed in me.
The next day, I made my way to PSY 1 in Cabot Auditorium. It was a fascinating lecture which culminated in the discussion and analysis of the Asch Paradigm, “the presence of a defector led the target to maintain their true beliefs,” that phrase stuck with me. I couldn’t help but think about it in the context of what I experienced the night before.
What if one of us had defected. What was going on was wrong. The entire pledge class knew that. Why did we simply go along with the majority? I thank Solomon Asch for his research. I will be honest, I endured four more grueling “pledge events” as they are called. Each about 40% more miserable than the previous.
I had gotten very close to some of my pledge brothers. They respected me. I talked about how contorted the situation was, some agreed completely, some kept their heads down. I spoke with the chapter president about hazing, condemning Delta Tau Delta’s practices. I realized that the problem was not one I could fix myself, but one that was a personal test for me and who I thought I was.
About 4 weeks into pledging, we were called to the basement. But this time, I had conviction. I was already creeping near the breaking point of compliance, and many of the upper classmen brothers knew that. What they did not know was that I was going to act as a “true partner” for my pledge brothers (See Asch).
We lined up by height. The pledge master barked. The forced us to consume alcohol. Then one of my good friends got called to the front, and the vice president of the fraternity proceeded to verbally abuse him.
I cracked. I dropped my pledge book and pledge pin on the ground.
I said, “This is messed up, and everyone in this room knows it.”
I walked out of that basement, never to return there again. Seven of my pledge brothers followed me within the next two weeks.
The scary thing was, I was right. Everyone in that room did know that what was happening was wrong. Or at least one point they did. There was a number of social psychological principles at work here. First, cognitive dissonance was ever present in the hazing process within Delta Tau Delta. As we have discussed in lecture, cognitive dissonance is the discrepancy between thoughts and behavior. Everyone knows hazing is bad, but why do people do it. The likely reasoning is that they change their attitudes about the behavior. They are forced to. The internal conflict between what they think and what they do is too great so one of the variables has to change. The actions were already completed, thus their thoughts must change. Second, while we have not studied conformity extensively in this class yet, my public speaking out about the pledge process and hazing allowed my fellow pledge brothers to go against the majority (the brotherhood in this situation) and change the behavior, to stand behind what they believe and show that they do not believe in hazing.