Somethings never work out the way we would like them to. We plan our semester, our classes, our computer science projects… We dream about how everything will go smoothly, and how things will work out. Almost always, this is not the case. Somehow, something just goes south. The things we thing we know turn out to be wrong. Things we assume misdirect us. Yet somehow everything works out. At the end we are content with what we have.
Social psychology has taught me the reasons why when we ask someone out and get rejected, we do not spiral down into depression. Why, even though we were rejected from Brown, we come to like Tufts (Disclaimer: am not a Brown reject.) This is called the adaptation theory of happiness. We come to adapt to our current context, and reflect on our happiness through the present not the past.
However, things not working out still frustrates us. Since we are held from reaching a goal, it makes us aggressive. Some cope with drinking, some getting into fights, some doing both… Back in the time Freud would suggest catharsis. That we have manifest our aggressiveness somehow if we don’t want it to become a bigger problem later. In class we talked about how catharsis was not as effective as once thought to be, it even makes things worse apparently. However, to me, it has always worked.
I do not like fighting, nor violence. However when I feel like I am angry, or emotional in general, I play an instrument. Whether it be my Bağlama (a traditional Turkish instrument), or the piano, or the guitar. To be frank, I am not good at them by any means. However the songs I play when I feel aggressive, are different than what I normally play. Everybody knows the Pirates of the Caribbean. When playing a piano version, you can go wild with the notes and just bash them because the music is supposed to be hyping and aggressive. That is exactly what I do. Or let’s take the main theme from Skyrim for example. It is a song called Dovahkiin.
Songs such as these, for some reason, just calm me down. And as a result, I have created music. Maybe, it is not that showing aggression is detrimental, but the means of our manifestation effects how we feel afterwards.