Hello hello lovelies!
Today’s post might be a little rambly and stream-of-conscious-y, but it’s something I thought I’d address in honor of Valentine’s Day.
In my experience, there is very much an expectation of finding love right away in college. The mindset, that I know I certainly had, of experiencing a bad breakup in high school and thinking “fine, I’m done with this, I’ll hold out for the cute college boys.” I don’t know if it’s just the hope that college equates to easier, more adult relationships, or the saturation of media, especially teen media, with that idyllic college relationship, but I absolutely had that expectation coming into college.
And then I got to Tufts, and I got through orientation, and started classes, and joined clubs, and met plenty of cute boys, but nothing that went anywhere. I stayed single – hell I didn’t so much as kiss a boy – my entire freshman year at Tufts.
While on the one hand I wasn’t trying that hard to find love – let’s be real, college is a lot of work – I still started to feel like there was something wrong with me. Like I was being cheated out of the quintessential teen experience.
But here’s the thing, as I already stated, college is hard. And transitioning to college is even harder. You’re in a new place, living away from your family, trying desperately to make friends, finding your way around campus, responsible for your own food and laundry. And on top of all that you need to be academically successful, join lots of clubs, and basically achieve as much as possible in four short years. That’s a lot. That is an awful lot. And adding in finding a significant other is very possibly too much, at least at the beginning.
So I guess this post is a really just a reminder: it’s ok not to find love right away in college. It’s ok to be single, on Valentine’s Day or any other day. It’s ok to prioritize other things over finding love. It’s ok to take your time. It’s ok.
“Finding love is like making creme brulee. It may take a few tries before you get it right.” –Crystal Woods