Like or Love?

Relationships are a normal part of life, whether they are with family members, close friends, or romantic partners. In fact, social psychology has a way of classifying relationships into two main categories: companionate or passionate.

Companionate relationships are characterized by intimacy and closeness without the intense longing and physiological arousal that comes with a passionate relationship. Companionate relationships are usually characteristic of friendships or romantic relationships that have lost initial chemistry, whereas most romantic relationships are classified as passionate.

Our lectures about attraction and close relationships couldn’t have come at a better time, as one of my closest friends was in need of some relationship advice. As she was describing her situation to me, I couldn’t help but think about Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love and how she was depicting a textbook example of empty love (at least from her perspective)! Empty love is characteristic of a relationship with commitment, but with little to no intimacy and passion. Despite not feeling attracted to this person at all, she felt as if she had to stay in the relationship. At a certain point she was pretending to sleep at the most absurd hours of the day to avoid interaction with him! It was all too clear to me that she had to get out of that relationship. In fact, I was puzzled as to why she hadn’t broken up with him yet. Perhaps she had a low level of comparison for alternatives, meaning that she thought that there weren’t many other people out there with whom she could connect. Or maybe she felt highly invested in the relationship, which made her weary of ending it.

Flash forward a week and she broke up with him! I never thought I would sound so enthusiastic about someone else’s breakup, but turns out my social psychology advice was helpful and motivated her to make the right decision.