Category: Tufts 1+4 India

By Jamie, Tufts 1+4 Participant

One of the biggest worries that I had coming into this year abroad in Hyderabad, India was not making connections to the people around me. For one, I couldn’t speak Hindi or Telugu(the state language of Telangana). I stuck out like a sore-thumb due to my big, curly hair. Everything about me screamed “tourist.” Because I was new, I did not understand the community that I had just been privileged enough to be invited into. I was afraid that I would keep myself in a tight, closed off bubble for the entire year. I realize, now, that that worry couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Recently, during an in-country learning seminar in Meghalaya (located in the North-East of India), I created a list of people who had been kind to me. At first, I couldn’t think of anyone outside of the people closest to me. I was thinking about the big ways I’ve been show kindness instead of the small ones. After writing one name, it was easy to remember more. Here is my list:

-the Old Woman I walk by everyday on the way to school who I smile at and wave at even thoughwe’ve never spoken a word to each other

-the Local Shop Owner who sent His Son to walk home with me when the road was blocked at night

-the Auto Driver, Pandu, who calls me every once in a while to ask how I am

-the Naan Shop Owner who helped me hail my first auto

-the Kids who wrote me “Get Well Soon” cards when I fell sick

and many more.

After I finished writing my list, I felt overwhelmed by this sense of connection. I have so many people in my life in Hyderabad that I have been connected to through a smile, a drive, an act of kindness and it speaks volumes about how beautiful the community I have been lucky enough to join is.

That feeling of connectedness continued to present itself even after I returned from my seminar. The inspiration from this post comes from a moment I had with one of my students. He came up to me after I came back from the learning seminar and said, “Didi, where were you? I was scared you went to America!” all said with a worried expression and his hand on his heart.

By Ashley, Tufts 1+4 Participant

First Month, India, Fall 2018

I am wet. From the moment I waked out of the air-conditioned airport my body has not yet ceased this overproduction of sweat. I am certain that everyone in India knows that I am not from here, as I feel that I leave a snail-like trail.

 I began to wonder “why me” and I awaited the day my body would catch up to my mind, to my new environment. As soon as I would step out of the shower my body would be wet once again, never really feeling clean. It didn’t make sense but how could I judge my bodily secretions when I am confused 99% percent of the time in my new life.  

Instead of occupying a space of an adult figure in my household, I have moved away from that role entirely.

Instead of feeling the need to parent a sibling, I gained three.

Instead of trying to accommodate strangers and friends alike, I am in a situation in which people are doing that to me.

Instead of always putting myself on the back-burner of my life, I have been moved to the front flame.

There will only be more experiences that will be completely different to what I have grown accustomed to in my past 18 years of life and no way to see what will come of that. I can only hope that – much like the sweating- time will work its magic and my mind and body will follow suit.

Present Day

I wrote this during my first month in India and looking back there was a lot of…moisture within that first month. I am about to embark on my second half of my journey and I can confidently say that I no longer identify with that statement. Now I only secrete the respective amount of sweat that could be expected in 90-degree weather with 40 percent humidity. Being able to say this means that I have done it. I am more than halfway done with this journey; the journey that shocked friends and family alike when I told them of my plans. Watching their faces changing between worry, happiness, and being proud was a sight to see. I never did understand why my loved ones were so shocked! I was only moving to the other side of the world for a year! However, as soon as I stepped off of the plane, my foreign body was at the mercy of the new climate. Then it truly dawned on me…my life was in India for the next 8 months. 

Over time my body has grown accustomed to the sticky sheen that would layer over my skin and drip; my body’s attempts to cool itself were in vain as I stuck to my daily 2 liters of water and attempts to stay in the shade. I could not understand why this unusual conditioned seemed to be prolonged. However, these past three months have taught me that, like everything, time and reflection is needed to truly go deeper in an experience.

I made some proclamations that first month that rung true, but I have come to see that the truth they held at the time is now more complex. Having to acclimate to many different new realities- new family, new job, new language, new everything- has made me really want to envision the adult person I want to be.

I want to be adventurous and exist in the world with a hunger to know more.

I want to love others while remembering that there must be the same amount and kind of love for myself.

I want to take charge of my life and allow myself space, while I give space to others. 

I want to be able to think about the future while continuing to live in the present. 

Slowly but surely everything follows suit with time. You just can’t sweat it.

by Ashley, Tufts 1+4 Participant

There is a little game I enjoy playing with myself; it’s called “Let’s see how far back we can remember.” A little game that I like to play occasionally, but over the years the game has become more of a way for me to reminisce on old experiences and re-live them. Thankfully, India has gifted me many more memories to use for my future reminiscences. 

Week One, India. The idea in my mind was “exploration” and I wanted to truly embody it by exploring my neighbor in hopes of becoming familiar with my new environment. By foot.  This detail is crucial as I had not yet had the ability to walk with the Indian traffic. I had to check left, right, up, down, and sideways —multiple times — to be sure that I would not be met with a rickshaw, car, or motorcycle!

Once I had been able to successfully cross streets, I began to look around, and what I saw was breathtaking. As I turned corners and walked down alleyways, I saw people walking around, buying produce at local stands, animals around the trash and walking along the roads. Even though I had seen this happen in my own town, the other places I had been, there was a “newness” to it. Soon enough it became apparent that I was not from around there as the stares began piling up as I continued aimlessly roaming around. 

I was very content being lost. Little did I know that the little alleyways would take me to more little alleys that would lead to a dead end. As I looked around my surroundings, I realized that I had collected a few friends along the way. There were approximately 20 small children around me who were all talking at once and shouting “Didi” to get my attention. The commotion brought out adults and then they began to ask me questions in Hindi, to which I had no way of understanding. I decided to return the way I had come from. By that point, I was overwhelmed, sweaty, and tired; the idea of exploring seemed good in my mind but my body had other thoughts. Now, looking back, getting “lost” was an adventure and being able to experience the “newness” of everyday things was magic.

I find that every moment we live through has a touch of that magic; something that we cannot find in any other experience because it is so unique to each one. It’s this magic that has the tendency to lessen as time goes on. Sure, we take pictures and look back at them every so often, but it seems that everything we do, in the hopes of remembering these moments, is futile. I constantly wish that there was a way to capture the moments the way I lived them- the emotions, the smells, the sounds. Time has a way of taking these details and twisting them around.

While time won’t do the moments justice, they are a part of me and so is the magic they carried when they happened. I do not know the next time I will get “lost” or the next time I have to relearn traffic but knowing India there will be more surprises in store. There will be more time to experience and even more time to look back at these moments throughout the course of my life. Even when the memories are a little dusty, that will be alright.

by Jamie, Tufts 1+4 Participant

I was in a Tufts 1+4 orientation session when I scribbled down the phrase that “success can be more abstract.” I scribbled this phrase into my notebook after I asked a question about the potential guilt that will accompany gaining more from my gap year than the community I will be working with. One peer mentor responded by saying that I was most likely thinking of success and improvement in a tangible way and that I needed to adjust what success meant to me. She then gave me an example of intangible success; building a relationship that would not only influence me positively but the other person in the relationship as well. At that moment, I began to include intangible successes into my definition of success. However, after three weeks in India, I started to feel guilty again with my impending apprenticeship, Teach for India.

Thinking of success in intangible terms is hard when I feel guilty. I cannot get over the idea that I will be gaining more from this experience than people who already have had less than what I’ve experienced even before this gap year. I do not think it is fair for me to walk away from this gap year benefiting from something that most of them will not be able to experience solely because they come from a low income household.

I am a teaching assistant for a third grade teacher. This is unlike any third grade classroom I’ve ever been in due to the lack of electricity and the sheer amount of children crammed into one, average sized classroom. A question that keeps coming to my mind is, “how can I think of intangible change when one classroom holds 110 children?” At the present, there is no importance in my self-growth when the children that are supposed to be learning cannot because of an overcrowded classroom. Where is the tangible or intangible success in that?

I know that, realistically, I won’t be changing the lives of these children drastically. I, also, know that just because I want to improve the world does not necessarily mean that the space I am going into to “help” actually needs my “help.” However, I still feel I should be a part of a bigger change. I feel like my individual growth is not a big enough contribution to bettering society.

As I reflect on what success means to me and why I am feeling guilty, I also begin to put my upcoming experience into perspective. Here I am, in Hyderabad, India, about to begin my apprenticeship with Teach for India, and my nerves are shot because I’m afraid of  not bringing enough good to my work and to the children I will be working with. I can only bring what I know I have: compassion, happiness, and love. As I bring these three attributes I will, hopefully, see a positive impact manifest (even if that manifestation comes about in a surprising, indirect way.)