by Rebeca, Tufts 1+4 Participant
At orientation I tried not to make any assumptions about what working at my placement at Montoya would be like in order to not be taken by surprise when I got there. However, I could not help but have some fears. I was worried that the girls would not accept me and that I would have to try to stand out in some way compared to all the volunteers they’ve had pass through. In terms of my job, I knew I was going to be picking the girls up from school and doing activities with them, but otherwise the details of my role in the home were a bit vague. I was also told that I would be able to make my own projects to do with them, so I imagined that I would share with them my love for art and being active by painting and going to the park with them.
Additionally, during orientation we had a class with a Tufts child development professor in which we talked about working with children. Some important advice I gained from that class was to be stern, as only through being a bit stern will children respect you and open up to you. He also told us that we should validate their words and experiences but not hand out compliments. Lastly, he encouraged us to be clever and know how to turn a bad situation into a good one when dealing with problem behavior (always seeing the bright side). I kept this advice in mind and even studied my notes from that class on the plane to Madrid, hoping I could take on the first day at Montoya well.
When I arrived at the home, I had no problems being accepted by the girls; although they were not super open at first, they soon wanted to play games and draw with me. Now, almost two months later, the girls and I are very close and they have told me much about their lives. I have found time to spend individually with each one of them, and they often tell me things they do not want to tell the educators. Although sometimes the girls accidentally call me the names of the two students who volunteered at Montoya last year, Daniela and Madeline, I do feel as if I have been able to make a unique impact on them. I have been taking them to run and swim, and have encouraged them to take on healthy eating habits. In addition, we are currently painting a canvas together. I have shared my life and experiences with them, and hope to share some traditions with them like Thanksgiving dinner.
I now also have a more clear purpose in the home, although I always have to be flexible because the lives and schedules of the five girls change. I now pick up the two youngest from school and take one to her psychologist and speech therapist. Then I help the girls with their homework or take them to their activities, the library, or the park. I make sure they eat their “merienda” or snack, put away their clothes, and shower. Basically, I spend the afternoons with them. The day always ends with me eating dinner with the girls and the educators, and sometimes with me reading a story to the youngest.
In terms of applying what I learned from the psychologist, I have employed the idea of being clever with them when trying to get them to do something they don’t want to do. For example, sometimes they do not want to their their homework and try to get you to do it for them. To make sure they do it themselves and understand what they are doing, I take them through the process of completing the problem but avoid giving them hints. Additionally, I try to make doing homework more fun by standing up and demonstrating things for them or telling jokes. I have also made sure to listen intently to all their stories and validate their hopes for the future. It is important to encourage them and help them work towards their goals, as it is easy for them to lose motivation due to the situations they grew up with. It is hard to be stern, as it is easy for a young volunteer to be seen by the girls as more of a friend and less as someone who has to be listened to. I am working on gaining the same level of respect as the educators, because I have realized that lately I have been too relaxed with the girls. In addition, I am focusing on improving my ability to deal with arguments between them. They sometimes have problems correctly expressing how they feel in a calm way, so when they argue they have difficulties trying to understand the other girls´ point of view and often speak over each other.
In the next two months I see everyone at Montoya and I having an even stronger bond, based off of how well we get along already. By getting to know them and what they have experienced in the past better, I will be able to help them more effectively. They have just started going to activities such as swimming and basketball, so I hope that in two months they will be fully invested in their hobby and motivated to go to it. Currently the girls sometimes need some encouragement when they, for example, have to go to a scouts event during the weekend. I also hope that the educators and I can go on more excursions with them, as I proposed in our meeting today. During the holidays we hope to go see a museum or travel outside of Madrid to a city close by. The educators and I are also going to start workshops in which we encourage the girls to express how they are feeling. Overall, in the future I see myself and the girls moving in a positive direction in terms of our growth and relationships.