Class of 2016

On a very grey and miserable September day, with not a peek of sunlight in the sky, Laura Fradin made her first fateful trek to Fletcher Field. As she approached the Ewo practicing and identified herself as a handler, a hush spread across the patchy, rock-riddled field. “What is this handler position you speak of?” the Ewo asked, in suspicious but excited voices. For only one very old and decrepit Ewo remained who recalled a time where new Elephant Women happily stepped up to play the role of a handler, rather than being forced and punished into playing the position. This very old and wise Ewo walked up to Laura and with a twinkle in her eye, handed her a shining disc that appeared to be made of glass. Of course, the disc was actually made of ice, and the Ewo deviously intended to trick Laura into injuring her beautiful and delicate hands. But lo and behold! For Laura sensed the Ewo’s evil ploy, and quickly pulled on her black gloves before accepting the disc and throwing a glorious, full field huck. As the disc soared through the air, the sun miraculously appeared from behind the clouds, shooting through the icy disc and sending prismic rainbow rays across the entirety of the field. The old Ewo cried out, “It is true! The mythic handler lives!” and fell to her knees before Laura. “I introduce to you all, a new queen!”

From that day on, the Ewo lived by the Intro Law, in which all observing must 1.) eat a diet consisting of peanut M&Ms and protein powder (to “bulk” up) and 2.) must keep their hands concealed at all times- as a reminder of the trickery that their new queen narrowly escaped. Neighboring teams quiver at the thought of marking Intro as she floats across the field, calming receiving the disc from cutters in desperate need of a dump option and throwing HUGE backhands to tiny figures cutting in the distance.