FWN Blog – Examine Your Past, Step Into the Future

By Anonymous, F98

When an FWN friend suggested I write a blog about my job search, I started brainstorming what would be helpful for people to know.  I immediately thought about looking for online resources and having an article with links about where to get information about job postings, resume building, and networking tips. Because that is what a job search is all about. Right?

Wrong! A job search is about much more than that. When you are searching for a job, you are looking into your very own assets, into what you have to offer to the world around you. And then you need to be able to verbalize that and be comfortable with it.

You might have read my first post where I go into details about the agonizing process I went through, trying to reinvent myself in my 50s after a long career break. Before I proceed with this article, I want to let you know that I did find a work opportunity that totally matches my skills.

The job search process was agonizing because it took me a long time to find my voice. I looked everywhere: I read so many job search blogs and articles that at some point they all sounded the same to me. But I found my voice when I went back into my history and tried, by talking with people who knew me, to understand my strengths – forget the weaknesses for a moment, as we, who are in the job market, tend to only focus on what we lack or don’t do well.

One of the things that surprised me the most is that examining my past allowed me to step into the future. For example, I was talking with a friend I had not seen in over a decade, and I summarized to her my journey: yes, I left Fletcher, spent 8+ years in the private sector, but now am looking into returning to community work. She responded, “Of course, that is what you are passionate about!” Yes, it is! Thank you for reminding me.

Another friend, who worked for an organization that interested me, was kind enough to send my resume to the VP of the department that was hiring. This was a fellow mom I had helped with car pooling, and other everyday parenting tasks.

And a third friend I reached out to from my pre-private sector/pre-Fletcher life was very happy to see me. I didn’t expect her to even remember me. Why would she remember me? She said:

“Do you remember when you practically put me in the XXX job? That launched my career.”

“No, I don’t remember, I am sorry.”

“You came to my desk and said: this job is for you and I am going to help you get it. I never forgot that, and I am happy that I will be able to help you this time around.”

This friend held my hand as I practiced for the interviews, used her contact within an organization to tell me what was going on with the hiring process, and helped me understand that I, too, have my gifts!

Yes, as Hillary would remind us, it takes a village. The things I did for my friends and co-workers that really didn’t take a lot of effort from me, meant a lot to them. And they were happy to help me!  So, in the end, when you are in this complicated process of marketing yourself and finding a job, what helps you the most are people who know you and people you reached out to in the past.

Many people, particularly the ones that don’t know you well, will try their best and your encounter with them may not bear any results. For example, I met a father during my daughter’s soccer game, and he immediately wanted to help me, and patiently sat with me for over two hours. But I left the meeting empty handed, in spite of all his extensive networks, effort, and goodwill.

Other people will just be indifferent or even rude to you. With an introduction from my sister, I met with the diversity officer for the state governor as part of my networking efforts. He has the power to recommend people to dozens of state boards. At the end of my elevator pitch, he asked me how long had I been unemployed. I corrected him. Rather than unemployed, I had made the choice to focus on raising my family; and for 13 years did that, while also, using my skills to do volunteer work. He raised his hands in the air and said,  “Oh boy, that will be difficult! I will try, because I want to make your sister happy, but I have to tell you, it will be very, very difficult to help you!”

My point is be prepared for all kinds of feedback when you put yourself out there. The world has not overcome flawed perceptions about gender and age, and that will affect us all at some point in our lives. But all of us have a gift, and your job will be to find yours, even when you don’t know where to start and whether you have what it takes. Keep trying, one day at a time.

The decision to hire me for my current position was made by a woman who is a fighter, who refuses to cut back in her “golden” years, and everyday shows me how strong we women can be in all stages of life.

My message to you is be purposeful when extending your hand, be strategic in forming your network, be kind and encouraging of others’ efforts, and be brave when reaching out. It is important to be persistent and reach out, reach out and continue to reach out. You will find people who will help you.

In honor of International Women’s Day this month, let’s unite and celebrate our gifts. Stop for a moment and think about your talents. Find a friend who will support you and another one you can extend your hand to. Most of all, find a group you can rely on and build a history with. And together, let’s cherish our right to choose our own paths.