A Letter to the Editor

Dear Isabel,

I’m writing this letter to you to let you know everything is going to be OK. This is for you when you first arrived; scared and confident in equal measures. This is for you when you moved in with your host family; terrified, lonely, and unsure if you could make it. This is for you a few weeks in; feeling like you should be more adjusted than are. And this is for you last week, or the other day, or yesterday, or even days or weeks from now. This is for you whenever you were or are feeling lost, dispirited, confused, scared, or apathetic. This is for you.

It gets better.

I know you know this. But I also know that some part of you doesn’t believe it – that some part of you is thinking “but what if it doesn’t?” “What if I always feel unsure of myself?” “What if I never improve my Spanish skills or make friends or feel useful at work?” I know that a very small but insistent voice in your head is telling you that because you’ve felt down for a while, you’re always going to feel this way. And that’s an easy trap to fall into. Your mind projects your past experience onto the future and assumes that the patterns will hold true. And generally this works pretty well. However, in the case of adjusting to a new situation, the future is nearly always better than past experience would indicate. And, even harder for the brain to grasp, it gets better in an exponential way. That is, as things get easier, they get easier much more quickly as time goes on.

I know this is hard to remember when you’re uncomfortable and irritated and just want to go home. But although things may be hard now I promise they look up in the future. You are going to have so many wonderful experiences here, many of which I haven’t even experienced yet, that I hate to think of you pining away in your room, grumpy and frightened of the world. I promise, it gets better. Or, as my parents like to put it, “this too shall pass.”

And if you still don’t believe me, think of it this way: remember all those bad memories from days or weeks ago? Yes, I know I just told you not to, but bear with me a little. Do have them in your mind? Good. OK, now look at how far you’ve come since then. Look at how much more comfortable you feel with your family, your work, and León in general. You’ve had long(ish) conversations entirely in Spanish. Kids at work come and hug you on sight and ask you to play. And you can take the bus or walk anywhere you need to go. I know you think you can’t do it, but look at you! You are doing it!

And sure, maybe there will always be those days or moments when life just seems impossible. But there are also moments that make it all worth it. And after all, wouldn’t you rather be having those hard stressful moments here in Nicaragua than back home at college? I know I would.

One last piece of advice: marvel at the good, take the bad in stride, and always remember, this too shall pass.

Love,

An older and hopefully slightly wiser Isabel