Inside the Enclosure

By David, Tufts 1+4 Participant

“David, let’s go to the zoo.” These were six words that once foreshadowed afternoons of pure joy during my childhood: a time when I excitedly zipped around from cage to cage, an adventurer in search of exotic beasts.

Animals were my childhood passion, my first love. National Geographic magazines and Planet Earth documentaries were staples before bedtime. My very first Christmas gift was a pair of binoculars, for wildlife watches. When most kids concerned themselves with dolls or monster trucks, I busily kept a little zoo in my house with insects found in the yard (my parents quickly shut that down). Ask six-year old me and I would for sure say that my greatest dream was to work with wildlife.

I would have never anticipated that twelve years later, this dream finally came true. It just seemed that all of the pieces, one by one, fell into place, as some fate awaited me. First, I selected to do a bridge year before jumping straight into university. Second, Global Citizen Year sent me to live seven months in Brazil, which happened to be the most biodiverse nation on the planet. Finally, third, I got assigned to a wildlife rescue park, where I would directly care for everything from parrots to penguins, toucans to tamanduas, and owls to ocelots. On paper, I had everything I could have ever wished for.

PRINCESA, R3’s RESIDENT TAMANDUA

Yet, in real life, I truly had no idea what was in store. Up until now, I have engaged with wildlife in the way most people have: outside looking in, secured by distance or a chain link fence. Yet, nothing was more surreal than being inside the enclosure on my first day. For the first time in my life, there was nothing between me (besides a hose and petty squeegee mop) and the beast. And knowing that this would be the reality of my next seven months.

Whether it be a flock of aggressive Amazon parrots or a troop of crazy capuchin monkeys, I learned quickly the need to tread carefully or be attacked. After a cage’s worth of cleaning, feeding, and not-getting-killed, I am covered in fruit stains, fish guts, or animal feces. The animals don’t seem to be impressed with my work, carelessly dirtying up the enclosure I had so arduously cleaned. Forget the rosy image of blossoming human-animal friendships. As a newbie on the job, my main goal was getting out of there alive.

AMAZON PARROTS AT THEIR MOST DANGEROUS TIME: FEEDING

As funny as it is to describe my first working week, in the moment, it was one filled with cognitive dissonance. It was one when I constantly questioned my commitment and passion. Had I been disillusioned in my passion for wildlife? Why does reality feel so wrong when on paper it felt so right and destined? Can I even survive seven months cleaning this many cages? As I continued to obsessively question myself during the first weeks, one particular Chinese parable constantly popped up in my head. This parable perfectly represented the worst of what I would discover out of my experience:

There was once a man who loved dragons. He loved dragons so much that he hung images of them in his home, wore them on his clothes, and dreamed about them at night. He loved them more than anything in the world.

The man’s devotion to dragons reached the ears of the Dragon King, who decided to pay him a visit. He snaked down from the heavens to the Earth, curling himself around the man’s house, awaiting his arrival.

The Dragon King expected a grand reception upon the man’s arrival home. Yet, he could not be farther from the truth. Upon seeing the dragon’s serpent-like body, his golden fins, and the wispy grey smoke exhaling from his breath, the man screamed in terror and fled for the hills.

It was too late that the Dragon King realized that, in reality, the man only liked the idea of dragons. However, to meet one in person just became too real.

I saw myself as that the man, fascinated by the dragon of my life: this opportunity I have in wildlife conservation. I have always loved its concept, enough to devote an entire year to its cause. Yet, I feared that once I discovered its truth, it would become too much for me.

A BABY BUGIO OR HOWLER MONKEY

However, looking back after a month on job, I am certain it will not turn out like that. Despite each day’s “terrors and toils”, I only feel more exhilarated to come back the next day, returning to confront the next set of challenges. I accept that it is not the idyllic experience that people make it out to be, because it represents something so much more: a higher goal with a deeper meaning, one that I can feel but have yet to discover it fully. I have since rejected that parable, instead, choosing to remind myself to embrace the discomfort of my new life and purpose. Because now, with more time and experience, I know where the gain and growth lies: inside the enclosure.

RELEASING ALEJANDRO THE SEA LION

My Journey to a New Shell

By Cecilia, Tufts 1+4 Participant

The majority of the energy I’ve acquired from the copious amount of rice and beans I’ve consumed this past month has been channeled towards my effort to adjust to my new surroundings in Cuenca, Ecuador. The experiences that have accompanied this cultural shift remind me of one of my favorite books from my childhood whose message has stuck with me for years: A House for Hermit Crab, by Eric Carle.

This story documents the journey of a hermit crab who has grown too big for his shell and is forced to abandon it in search of a new one that can better support him. He faces the discomfort of vulnerability as he travels through the ocean—shell-less—but finally ends up in a place where he not only discovers joy but eventually develops a sense of comfort as well.

As many children’s books do, this story contains multiple layers of moral guidance, but there is one lesson that has always stood out to me above the rest: the concept that no individual can experience growth without facing vulnerability. We must expose ourselves to what we fear—as the hermit crab did during his journey through the ocean—in order to expand our realms of understanding. Similar to the way that the hermit crab searches for a new shell out of necessity, it is essential that we allow ourselves to grow as individuals to generate both personal and societal benefits.

As I familiarize myself with the culture of Cuenca, I have kept in mind the concept of embracing vulnerability to remind myself that the discomfort I face on a daily basis is worth something. In fact, I know I am doing something right when I notice discomfort—it means that I have pushed myself to explore what exists beyond my ‘shell’.

There are plenty of awkward situations that I encounter on a regular basis, including those that arise from living in a new home with a new family, speaking an unfamiliar language, and attempting to adjust to new cultural norms. The way I see it, each of these obligations is like a vast ocean, full of strong currents and predators. Within this ocean we exist as hermit crabs, in search of a home that can accommodate our growth. We are presented with two options: either we leave our old shell behind and make the journey across the ocean floor—despite the risk of danger—in pursuit of the benefits that await us, or we stay put in our safety zone, never to discover what lies beyond our small, confining, and all too familiar shell.

When I encounter these situations, I push myself to embrace the expedition across the ocean—even if this entails abandoning the comfort of my ‘shell’—because I know that my failure to do so would leave me stuck; we will never grow if we restrict ourselves with a shell that is too small.

In my daily life in Cuenca, these situations typically show up as minor determinations. Do I leave my bedroom to spend time with my family or stay put in the comfort of privacy? Will I ask this stranger for directions or just try to figure out how to get there by myself? Should I enter this establishment on my own and risk being embarrassed by my inadequate knowledge of Spanish? Although these decisions may seem small and insignificant, the practice of confronting vulnerability is still valuable.

Instead of enduring the displeasure of confrontation, we always have the option to hide. We can convince ourselves that we won’t benefit from taking a risk as an excuse to back out of it. The only issue with this intention is that the feeling of incapability that results from it only decreases our motivation to take chances, which eventually leaves us stuck in a rut. A cloud of negativity looms over us, releasing droplets of guilt, failure, and incompetence from which we can’t hide. We have no umbrella or place to escape to; no way to console ourselves. We end up spending the majority of our time in a state of discomfort and insecurity.

Based on personal experience, I believe one of the most difficult aspects of adjusting to a new culture is the frustration that results from this long-term discomfort. When we endure the adversities associated with culture shock, our natural response is to retreat to a safe place where we can rid ourselves of distress. ‘Home’ is a word that many of us associate with comfort, warmth, and security. It’s our safe haven, where we can freely express ourselves, make our own choices, and follow our own routines. It makes perfect sense to want to return to this setting when we feel out of place; there’s nothing more comforting than familiarity. But, when there isn’t an option to return to the home that we know, our only choice is to make a home out of our new surroundings. Of course, this is easier said than done, but, at least in my opinion, the benefits of seeking out comfort in an unfamiliar setting outweigh the discomfort of the vulnerability it takes to get to that point.

The aspect of homes that I find most beautiful is that they are not limited to physical spaces. A home is a home because of its ambiance. Of course, spending time in a familiar location can be consoling, but it is the people, the comfort, and the sense of belonging that constitute a home. Therefore, it’s important to recognize that just because we have left one home behind, doesn’t mean we can’t cultivate a new one abroad. We can find comfort almost anywhere, it just takes time and patience to develop. This process of shifting homes—as the hermit crab exhibits—results in a beautiful cycle of growth; the more we practice it, the easier it becomes.

What makes this cycle so valuable? The fact that it will never cease. As we step out of our comfort zones and into the unfamiliar, we grow bit by bit, until we can no longer fit into the‘shell’ or ‘skin’ that we once occupied. By simply embracing the vulnerability that awaits us, we are allowing ourselves to grow in more ways than one: primarily on a personal level, but also on a level of perspective—a seemingly minor experience has the potential to change our perception of the world around us. The more we expose ourselves to discomfort, the more we grow, and the more we grow, the happier and more confident we feel about ourselves and our purpose. As individuals, only we have the power to determine the course of our growth. Whether it be a journey to a bigger shell in the ocean or to a new home abroad, it is our willingness to embrace vulnerability that makes us stronger.

Some photos of my new home:

my new street: Calle Florentino León
a day trip to Cajas National Park
the view on my walk to the bus stop
receiving a spiritual cleansing

Creciendo en Cuenca

by AJ, Tufts 1+4 Participant

Turi swing

One of the reasons I decided to participate in the 1+4 Program was because I thought it would be a fantastic opportunity to grow as a person. Instead of reentering the familiar structure of school this year, I am navigating the working world of a foreign country, interacting with people by myself in a foreign language everyday, and independently working to create my own structure and routine. So much growing up, learning, and maturing has happened already and I’m only a month and a half into the year. There have been simple learning experiences, such as buying my own toiletries, commuting to work on the bus everyday, navigating the city (and having to ask for directions in Spanish), and managing emails. There have also been more challenging experiences that have facilitated a more profound personal growth, such as forming relationships with my host family, helping to take care of the kids at home occasionally, regularly breaking out of my comfort zone to connect with people I meet here, and creating a productive schedule for myself and by myself. The beautiful thing about this year so far has been that it truly is what you make of it.

Yesterday, I took three classes: a two hour drawing class, an hour long salsa class, and then an hour long muay thai class, one after the other. The drawing and muay thai classes were both not only my first time in the specific class, but also my first time ever learning about those things. I never would have imagined doing these things here, but what I have learned is that if you are willing to put yourself out there and take risks, you can learn new things and grow as a person. I would go so far as to say that that is the only way you can grow as a person. Not only am I learning about those three activities (drawing, dancing, and muay thai), but I am feeling more confident in myself and adventurous. First classes are scary experiences. It’s even scarier when you aren’t speaking your native language and are struggling to communicate and understand basic things. Nonetheless, my risk-taking has payed off. I’ve met new people from these classes, learned new things, and have taken hold of my life like I have never done before. Another thing that I have noticed is that when I am speaking to someone in English–and that’s anyone, familiar or stranger–I feel so comfortable and confident compared to when I’m speaking in Spanish. I believe that this demonstrates the overall growth that I am making for myself here. I remember pondering the benefits to the self that this type of program would begin before I decided to sign up for it, and I wanted to hear more than just learning new things, interacting with new people, expanding my world view, and experiencing personal growth. What I have discovered is that the greatest rewards from this program have been exactly what I was told about. But they are so much more profound than I ever imagined now that I am experiencing them for myself.

Navigating the city with friends
Man at work on La Catedral de la Inmaculada Concepción
Iglesia de Todos Santos

A Potential Reality: Gaining More Than I Give

by Jamie, Tufts 1+4 Participant

I was in a Tufts 1+4 orientation session when I scribbled down the phrase that “success can be more abstract.” I scribbled this phrase into my notebook after I asked a question about the potential guilt that will accompany gaining more from my gap year than the community I will be working with. One peer mentor responded by saying that I was most likely thinking of success and improvement in a tangible way and that I needed to adjust what success meant to me. She then gave me an example of intangible success; building a relationship that would not only influence me positively but the other person in the relationship as well. At that moment, I began to include intangible successes into my definition of success. However, after three weeks in India, I started to feel guilty again with my impending apprenticeship, Teach for India.

Thinking of success in intangible terms is hard when I feel guilty. I cannot get over the idea that I will be gaining more from this experience than people who already have had less than what I’ve experienced even before this gap year. I do not think it is fair for me to walk away from this gap year benefiting from something that most of them will not be able to experience solely because they come from a low income household.

I am a teaching assistant for a third grade teacher. This is unlike any third grade classroom I’ve ever been in due to the lack of electricity and the sheer amount of children crammed into one, average sized classroom. A question that keeps coming to my mind is, “how can I think of intangible change when one classroom holds 110 children?” At the present, there is no importance in my self-growth when the children that are supposed to be learning cannot because of an overcrowded classroom. Where is the tangible or intangible success in that?

I know that, realistically, I won’t be changing the lives of these children drastically. I, also, know that just because I want to improve the world does not necessarily mean that the space I am going into to “help” actually needs my “help.” However, I still feel I should be a part of a bigger change. I feel like my individual growth is not a big enough contribution to bettering society.

As I reflect on what success means to me and why I am feeling guilty, I also begin to put my upcoming experience into perspective. Here I am, in Hyderabad, India, about to begin my apprenticeship with Teach for India, and my nerves are shot because I’m afraid of  not bringing enough good to my work and to the children I will be working with. I can only bring what I know I have: compassion, happiness, and love. As I bring these three attributes I will, hopefully, see a positive impact manifest (even if that manifestation comes about in a surprising, indirect way.)

Overlooking Old City, Hyderabad during Sunset

“Anyone Can Cook” : Lessons from Ratatouille

by Gus, Tufts 1+4 Participant

As I have started to adapt to life in Ecuador, one of the biggest changes I have experienced thus far has been the food. While you might be saying “duh, Gus. What did you expect?” please allow me to elaborate on one of the deeper differences which accompanies the more obvious differences in flavor and strain of potatoes.

During our orientation one of the things we discussed was the differing definitions of success. For those in the United States, success is often defined by the final product. In contrast success is more about the journey in many Latin American countries. Though I would have never thought to apply this to the realm of food, I have realized, through my experiences cooking with my host family, that this difference does hold true.

To elaborate, cooking for me has never been a social activity, but more of a necessary step preceding consumption. Sure, I know how to scramble eggs and make a grilled cheese sandwich, but I’ve only ever used these skills to fulfill caloric needs. Certainly, I wouldn’t describe myself as someone who would regard four hours of meal preparation as a fun or fulfilling use of time. Nevertheless, this was exactly what I found myself doing this past Saturday, and I found it quite enjoyable in fact.

The process started around 10 a.m. when my host sister dispatched my brother and I to the market to gather the necessary ingredients for our upcoming lunch. The main course was to be sweet barbeque chicken wings prepared by my sister supplemented by tater tots (a Minnesotan delicacy) prepared by yours truly. Disclaimer: I’ve never actually made tater tots from scratch. However, as the famous Chef Gusteau from Ratatouille once said, “anyone can cook.”

“Anyone can cook.” -Chef Gusteau

Well, to put it bluntly, the first attempt was a disaster. The potato balls disintegrated and I was left with a soupy version of what might be considered hash browns if looked at with less than 20/20 vision and an optimistic perspective. Thankfully, I was not alone in the process. Much like Linguini, the son of Gusteau in Ratatouille, I needed a small amount of guidance in order to create an edible product. Thanks to the advice of my host siblings on a couple small changes, I was able to get a much closer approximation of tater tots the second time around.

Attempt 2: Quite doughy on the inside, but exquisite in terms of improvement

Through this process, I not only learned to prepare tater tots from scratch, but also enriched my understanding of the culture surrounding food and cooking in Ecuador. In many ways, I think my prior conceptions about cooking were blinded by the fact that I could swing by the freezer aisle of the nearest supermarket any time I wanted tater tots. The traditional markets of Ecuador couldn’t be more different, nearly completely comprised of food straight from the Earth and without significant previous preparation. As a result, cooking is, almost by necessity, a much more significant part of everyday life. Furthermore, cooking is about more than meal preparation, it also includes the spirit of community which arises from creating something together.

Returning to the wisdom of Ratatouille, a similar lesson can be found in the relationship between Remy and Linguini. On his own, I would argue Linguini can’t cook (and neither can I), but this is irrelevant because the spirit of community formed through cooking is the more important part. What can be concluded from this is that though I have resigned myself to an observer status in many of the more complex cooking tasks, I can still be a part of the cooking. Undoubtedly, anyone can cook from this mindset so long as they partake in the communal spirit.

As I consider my expectations of meaningful cross-cultural experiences, shelling peas was nowhere near the top or even the bottom of the list. In spite of this, I often look forward to Saturday afternoons when I know another bag of the raw legumes will be waiting. Despite a complete lack of culinary ability, I will continue to appreciate these times for the community I have felt with my host family throughout.

Luzia

by Laura, Tufts 1+4 Participant

Barely 24 hours in Brazil, the National Museum of Brazil burnt down. On Sunday evening, the day we completed our 30 hour journey to Florianopolis, it caught fire, and was destroyed by the time we woke up. In the run up to an election, discussion of political blame was immediate: austerity and a lack of investment in culture, reliability of emergency services and the excessive spending on the World Cup and Olympic Games. Although these conversations were inevitable and essential, my initial reaction was of sadness, and almost mourning. I had never heard of this museum beforehand, or known what it held but I deeply resonated with the photos I saw online of the residents of Rio crying in front of the carcass of the Portuguese Palace, because the value of holding objects in places and in ways accessible to educate all people is something I have experienced many times.

I have just started my apprenticeship working at Comcap – the waste disposal department of the city council in Florianopolis. Only a couple of days in, I have been struck by the sheer volume of waste a relatively small city can produce. The school children on tours are reminded that the first two “r’s” (reduce and reuse) are just as important as recycling. Being presented with the reality of consumerist society, my brain began running in circles; how do we stop producing so much stuff? And how, as a species that differentiate ourselves from all others by our ability to make tools, do we attempt to use them more frugally? In a book I was presented with, there was one phrase: “O  lixo e o sobra entre o desejo e a necessidade do ser humano” (roughly translates to “Rubbish and leftovers are a  necessary part of being human” ), which encapsulated the precarious position that human material culture holds in our world, and its importance. Remembering a time that the value of material culture far outweighed its problems in my judgement, I wanted to share one of my experiences working at the Blackden Heritage Site in Goostrey, Cheshire:

I had arrived early one day to Blackden, and was waiting in the visitor’s seating area for Tim, the resident archaeologist, to arrive and continue sorting the pottery we had begun the day before. Alan wandered in and spotted me waiting, and walked over with a medium sized plastic box in his hands. He presented me with a stone and asked me what I thought. I was slightly taken a back, having never had any experience with artifacts older than the 1200s, but decided to give it a go. It seemed to fit snugly in my hand in one particular orientation, with a rounded edge in my palm and a dent for my thumb, leaving a blunted blade at the top. No doubt it was a heavy duty tool, impossible for use in projectile hunting, so I came to the conclusion that it may have been a construction tool, most likely from the upper European Stone Age. Incorrect, I was informed. “Try again,” he said. I was struggling by this point, and started hypothesizing the ritual use of the tool – in my small hands it really seemed impossible for the blade to have had a mobile use. What I had failed to consider, as Alan then told me, was that not all human had hands as small as ours, as not all humans were homo sapiens. Now realizing the age and importance of the tool I had in my hands, I put it carefully back in the box as Alan explained that this tool was actually made by homo heidelbergensis in excess of 200,000 years ago.

Objects tell stories. By holding objects in our hands, we can cross cultures, millennia, and even species.

In the “Museu do Lixo”, some of the most interesting rubbish thrown away in the city is stored – it is both shocking in wastefulness and presents a fascinating material cultural history simultaneously. To work there I have already realized will be a great privilege, and maybe and I will begin to reach more clarity in my own mind on the place of human material culture in a world with a degrading environment. Every day at my apprenticeship I help to decide what is kept, what is thrown and what is burnt. When is the story an object holds invaluable and when is it a pollutant; when is something a physical form of education and when it is excess, and when is the world is a poorer place if an object is lost to a fire?

I plan to visit Rio this year. There, I won’t get to greet Luzia, the oldest human skull found in southern America. And I won’t get to see or handle the invaluable indigenous collection that her people left behind in the National Museum. But I endeavor to learn as much as I can about Brazil now; by holding the stuff of such a diverse and complex country in my own, homo sapien’s hands.