##### If that isn’t good enough, read on to tell if you’re really a pure mathematician.

Here’s a fun and really effective way to convince people you’ve been working too hard. (This always gets me laughing!)

##### (these very cool jokes came from http://xkcd.com )

What do you call two guys who love algebra?  Ans:  Alge-bros

A waiter asks a computer scientist (or logician), “Do you want soup or salad?”  The computer scientist replies, “yes.”

##### How about learning pi to 1000 places, and here is pi to 2 places if you look closely.

Why did pi get its driver’s license revoked?  A: because it didn’t know when to stop.

##### Q: Do you know why 16/64 = 1/4?A: Cancel the 6’s!

1. Q: Why is glue so bad at math?
2. A: It gets stuck on everything!
1. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
2. A: The answer is trivial and left as an exercise for the reader.
##### A farmer asks his sheepdog to count his new sheep. The dog runs into the field, and after a bit, runs back to his master,“40,” replies the dog.“How can there be 40?” exclaims the farmer. “I only bought 38!”“I know,” says the dog. “But I rounded them up.”

Q:  Why can’t you hold a conversation with derivatives?

A: Because they keep going on tangents!

Here are two cute math foxtrot strips:

##### Here’s what your math profs mean when they use the following words:
• Clearly: I don’t want to write down all the “in-between” steps.
• Trivial: If I have to show you how to do this, you’re in the wrong class.
• It can easily be shown: No more than four hours are needed to prove it.
• Brute force: Four special cases, three counting arguments and two long inductions.
• Elegant proof: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.
• Similarly: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.
• Two line proof: I’ll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can’t question ’em if you can’t see ’em.
• Briefly: I’m running out of time, so I’ll just write and talk faster.
• Proceed formally: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning.
• Proof omitted: Trust me, It’s true.
##### Q: What’s nutritious and commutes? A: An Abelian soup.

Why was the student confused when they went from English class to math class?
Answer:  Because they were taught that a double negative in English is bad, but in math, it’s a positive!

##### An engineer physicist and mathematician are asked to make a fence to enclose the most land with the least fencing.The engineer says “I can do that” and makes a circular fence.The physicist “I can do better” and makes a fence that goes around the equator.The math bemusedly says” Oh yeah…wow” and makes a small fence around herself. “I declare this to be the outside!”

Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? They must be plotting something.

Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

##### Here’s a fun update to the Abbott and Costello joke about who’s on first but with computers (thanks to Cousin Nino).

Here’s how Abbott and Costello show 7 x 13 = 28!

##### Here is a fun article on Babbage and Lovelace who were early computer aces.

What English King invented fractions??

Answer: Henry the 1/8! It made sense since he had to “divide from the Catholic Church. That takes some courage, so he must have been twice the man Louis the 1/16 ever was!